Have you ever noticed how some players seem to get quieter as a game goes on?

They stop calling the middle ball. They pass up attackable shots. They apologize after every mistake—even when their partner clearly doesn’t care. By the end of the game, they’re playing noticeably smaller than they were when it started.

It happens more often than most players realize.

Confidence has a way of changing your game. It’s often treated like a personality trait—something you either have or you don’t—but it’s much more practical than that. Sports psychology backs that up. Research has consistently shown a positive relationship between self-confidence and athletic performance. Athletes with higher confidence tend to make quicker decisions under pressure and recover from mistakes faster because they spend less time questioning themselves.

When Confidence Gets Quiet, So Do You

One of the first places confidence shows up is in how much of the court you’re willing to take. 

Many newer players—and yes, many women—have a habit of making themselves smaller when they lose confidence. They stop calling balls they could reach. They pass up opportunities to attack. They wait for their partner to make decisions instead of making one themselves.

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “Sorry” after every missed shot, you’re certainly not alone. For many women, apologizing is almost automatic. It’s something we’re conditioned to do in everyday life, and that habit often follows us onto the pickleball court.

Chances are your partner has already moved on before you’ve even finished saying “sorry.” You’re the one still replaying the mistake. 

Your partner doesn’t need you to feel guilty about missing a volley or driving one into the net. They need you mentally ready for the next point. Every extra second spent replaying your mistake is a second you’re not preparing for the next one.

The Middle Ball Is a Confidence Decision

If there’s one place where confidence shows up more than anywhere else, it’s the middle ball.

Most doubles players know the basic strategy. Forehands usually take the middle. Communication matters. Call the ball early. 

Yet hesitation still happens.

Most players know exactly what they’re supposed to do—they’re just afraid of making the wrong decision. They’re worried about colliding with their partner, missing the shot, or looking too aggressive. So neither player fully commits. 

Ironically, hesitation usually creates the very mistake you’re trying to avoid.

If this sounds familiar, remove as much uncertainty as possible before the game starts. Talk with your partner about who normally takes the middle and when. Then, once you’re in the point, trust that plan. Call the ball early, commit to the swing, and if you miss it, move on.

Making an aggressive decision and missing is part of improving. Hesitating because you’re afraid to make one only reinforces the doubt.

Confidence Can Disappear One Point at a Time

Confidence rarely disappears all at once. It fades away point by point.

You miss one easy volley. Then you stop driving the next attackable ball. Your third-shot drive turns into a cautious push. Before you know it, you’re steering the ball instead of swinging freely.

Sports psychologists often describe confidence as a cycle. Success builds confidence, but confidence also makes future success more likely because it encourages decisive action. A mistake can create a negative spiral where hesitation leads to poorer execution, which further damages confidence.

One missed shot shouldn’t get to decide how you play the rest of the game.

Building Confidence Is More Practical Than You Think

Like any other part of your game, confidence can be developed.

Research also points to several mental habits that help athletes stay confident under pressure. The good news is that none of them require natural talent. They’re all things you can practice.

• Replace negative self-talk with simple cues. Instead of telling yourself, Don’t miss this one, focus on something more actionable like Move your feet or Watch the ball. 
• Visualize success before it happens. Spend a few minutes imagining yourself calling the middle confidently, attacking a high ball, or bouncing back after a missed shot. The more often you picture those situations, the more natural they’ll feel when they happen.
• Focus on process goals instead of outcome goals. Instead of worrying about winning the game, give yourself one objective you can control, like calling every middle ball you can reach or committing to every attackable ball.
• Leave every game with one win. Instead of only thinking about what went wrong, identify one thing you did well. Confidence grows faster when you recognize progress instead of only noticing mistakes.

Those small wins build confidence far more effectively than waiting for perfect results.

Take Up the Space You’ve Earned

Confident players still miss shots. They just don’t let one miss change how they play the next point.

You’ll call more balls. You’ll swing more freely. You’ll recover faster after mistakes.

Most importantly, you’ll stop making yourself smaller.

Pickleball rewards players who commit. Your partner doesn’t need perfection. They need someone who’s willing to commit.

Take up the space you’ve earned.