Playing Pickleball with Your Spouse: Can It Strengthen or Strain Your Relationship?

Playing pickleball with your spouse can be one of two things: a bonding experience that brings you closer or a fast track to frustration. If you've ever had a moment where you questioned your entire relationship after a missed shot, trust us—you’re not alone.

At the pro level, there aren’t many couples competing together, and for good reason. Pickleball, like any sport, requires communication, patience, and the ability to let things go (which, let’s be honest, can be hard when your partner just hit an easy put-away into the net).

But here’s the good news: playing with your significant other doesn’t have to be a recipe for disaster. With the right mindset and a few simple strategies, you can turn your time on the court into something that strengthens both your relationship and your game.

Keep It Fun (And Leave the Ego at the Door)

The first rule of playing pickleball with your spouse? Remember why you’re doing this.

Unless you’re training for the next big tournament, your main goal should be to enjoy your time together. That means laughing at the mishits, embracing the chaos, and not taking things too seriously.

Try this:

• Laugh off the mishits instead of dwelling on them.

• If things feel tense, call a quick “reset” and take a deep breath.

• Throw in some lighthearted banter—“Well, that escalated quickly” never fails.

Communication is Everything (Yes, Even in Pickleball)

Think of playing pickleball with your spouse like assembling IKEA furniture together—it’s all about communication, and without it, things will fall apart fast.

Good pickleball couples talk before, during, and after a match. Before playing, discuss expectations: Are you out there to compete, or is this just for fun? During the game, use clear verbal cues like “mine,” “yours,” or “switch” to avoid confusion. And afterward, check in with each other—without turning it into a post-mortem of every mistake.

Try this: Instead of saying, “You need to stop hitting into the net,” try “Let’s work on shot placement together.” Reframing keeps things constructive and helps avoid unnecessary tension.

Play to Each Other’s Strengths (Not Against Them)

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when playing pickleball together? Forgetting that they’re on the same team.

Instead of pointing out what your partner is doing wrong, focus on what they do well. If one of you has quick reflexes, let them take more volleys at the net. If one of you has a killer serve, set up points around it. The more you embrace each other’s strengths, the more enjoyable the game will be.

Try this: Before the match, do a quick check-in: “What’s one thing you feel confident about today?” Letting your partner lead with a strength builds confidence and makes them feel supported.

Keep the Energy Positive (Even When It’s Tempting Not To)

Let’s be honest—watching your partner make a mistake can be painful. But rolling your eyes, sighing loudly, or delivering the dreaded silent treatment mid-game? That’s a guaranteed way to ruin the vibe.

Instead, focus on lifting each other up. When your spouse makes a great shot, celebrate it. When they miss an easy one, keep it moving. A quick “No worries, next one!” is way more effective than frustration.

Try this:

• High-five after a great shot.

• Keep things encouraging: “Nice try, we’ll get the next one!”

• If frustration creeps in, take a second to reset before it spirals.

Learn to Let Go (Fast)

If you take one thing away from this article, let it be this: develop a short memory.

A bad shot, a miscommunication, a lost game—it happens. The key is to move on. The couples who enjoy playing pickleball together are the ones who don’t let one point (or even one match) define their entire experience.

Try this: Instead of dwelling on mistakes, use the windshield analogy: Look forward, not back. Focusing on the next point keeps the game fun and frustration-free.

Debrief—But Keep It Light

After the game, take a few minutes to talk about how things went—but don’t turn it into a blame session.

A simple “What did you have fun with today?” or “What worked well for us?” keeps the conversation positive. If you do want to improve, frame it as a team effort instead of placing blame.

Try this:

• Start with something positive: “You were solid at the net today!”

• Keep improvement-focused feedback as a team effort: “Let’s work on our shot placement together.”

• Avoid nitpicking—one match isn’t worth a post-game argument.

Celebrate Off the Court

Win or lose, playing pickleball together is about spending time with each other. Keep the connection going by making a small post-game tradition. Grab a smoothie, take a short walk, or just sit and chat for a few minutes before heading home. A simple routine can help shift the focus from competition back to enjoying each other’s company.

Try this: Set a rule—pickleball arguments don’t last past the parking lot. Once you leave, it’s done.

Play With Love, Laugh Together

Pickleball with your spouse isn’t just about keeping score. It’s a chance to connect, communicate, and enjoy time together—on and off the court. The best pickleball couples aren’t necessarily the ones who win the most, but the ones who laugh the most, communicate well, and support each other on and off the court.

So step onto the court, play your game, and remember: no match is worth a night of awkward silence over dinner.